Dear me.

I know you’re struggling right now. I know how much you’re hurting right now. I know how hard it is right now. I know how you give advice to people but can’t even listen to your own advice because you’re so stubborn. Life is difficult right now, I know. It’s okay, life happens right? It’s part of life. Stop beating yourself up. Stop being so sad in yourself. Stop being so angry. Stop being so scared. Stop being so mean to yourself. Stop hating yourself.

High school was tough. People were mean and people didn’t accept you. It’s okay we passed through it but then college came. College came and you, I mean WE, thought it was going to get better. New area, new school, a brand new fresh start. That didn’t happen. You didn’t realize that what you got yourself into was crazy and hectic. Your studying became your life, you had no passion to do anything but to study and get the grades that your parents wanted. You never did anything that you wanted. You just listened.

But that’s okay, at least you have a path. See, you do have a path, even if it’s super hard. But then, school became your life. You began stressing out a lot, you have anxiety, you go to a therapist.. Something’s wrong isn’t it? What is it? Is it everything? i know you have a lot of pressure on your shoulders and head.

You’re going crazy.

You’re slacking in turning things in on time. You forget about assignments. You don’t do the best of your ability. You stop paying attention. You’re not okay. You’re lost. You’re confused. You’re depressed.

So what are you going to do now? Well, what are we going to do now? Is it over? Do we cry ourselves to sleep every night like we usually do? Do we just pray that this pain will walk away on its own? Do we keep on pretending that everything is okay as we always do?

We need to stop pretending. Stop faking our smiles, stop thinking that everything’s okay, stop pretending that we’re mentally okay.

I know that your family isn’t understanding to anything that you say. Your parents keep on hoping that you’ll turn out to be what they want. Your sister is another authority figure, another mom. She just wants you to be what she wants you to be. You’ll never be the result that they’ll want.

But as much as you are struggling with life and your mental health, think about the people around you that love you. Your family. As much as they won’t understand what you’re going through, they’re your rock no matter what so don’t do anything stupid that you’ll regret…

It’s hard and it’s going to continue being hard. I’m not gonna say that it’s gonna be okay because it’s not. You’re going to keep crying every night like you have been but you have to know that this isn’t the end of the world. This is not where you crumble. This isn’t going to end you. You, WE, have to get up and fight. We’ve been through so much that honestly we’re heartless. The things around us has made us desensitized to what is right or wrong. Things are gonna keep being difficult and hard and that’s part of life. Even if we’re not mentally or physically stable, this isn’t going to kill us. I am not gonna let it kill us.

So now, what do we do to stop ourselves from killing us?

Love, me.

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